Putera Puteri Kartini 2013

I signed myself up to compete in this competition. At first, I had my doubt for joining this because I didn’t think that I was confident enough to step up. Knowing that the location held was in Bekasi as well. I was scared as always. But I thought why I didn’t give it a try. I assumed that I would be a lot happier if I failed trying rather than not trying at all

Audition started. I was a little late because I got lost on my way to the location. It was located in the Kantor Walikota Bekasi. The audition took a start with writing an essay about R.A. Kartini. Then, it continued with the interview. I waited for like 3 hours to audition but it was pretty fun though. I met all new people and somehow I felt so comfortable mingling with new friends. It began with writing an essay about the values of R.A. Kartini that we could implement daily in our lives. Then, it followed with the interview. In the interview part, I had to face with some of the judges and I needed to showcase my talent as well. Nervousness was there and I tried to be as calm as I could possibly be although it was raging inside. The judging went pretty well and was even better than I expected. I was so much of myself and felt so comfortable dealing with a lot of tricky questions. I held it together and answered very thoroughly.

The announcement via twitter came up. I did get picked as the finalist and I was excited. The thing that concerned me the most was how I was going to attend the quarantine section knowing the fact that it was going to be held around in Bekasi. My dorm was in Cikarang and it was going to be really frustrating to go back and forth. But I thought that this was the challenge I was willing to take. I dealt with it.

They called it “workshop” and it took three days to get through. I was taught a lot about “Inner Beauty”, “HIV/AIDS and its guidance to avoid it”, “Organizational Structure of Abang Mpok”, “3R and environment” and other beneficial lectures. I grasped all the knowledge I received and really took it all in. It approximately went week and a half to do all the process before the final night. I met some of the amazing great achievers and they were talented in their own unique ways. Since the workshop, I got really close with Taufan and Adiestian and I paired with the lovely Tiara Devi. I felt so much togetherness and sense of belonging in surroundings of top 40 Finalist and all the mentors such as Bang Theo, Bang Aspira, Bang Cah, Bang Arga, Kak Eva, Bang Rahar, and Bang Imam who voluntarily helped me and the rest of us through the journey and I began to appreciate the value of discipline from these inspirational people. I knew that if I didn’t win, I would not regret a single bit. Because through Putera-Puteri Kartini, I valued the thing called journey. The ups and downs, the hard and the goods, all had to be experienced in order to achieve glory.

The final night arrived. I had to thank my fellow, Aby for lending me the baju koko because I hardly got a chance to buy one since mine was back in my home. We did the run-through and the feelings were mixed. We practiced our question and answer, catwalk, our opening dance and our confidence. Until it came to the announcement of top 20 and I was called first by the MC. I advanced to the question and answer session. I remembered I was with Teh Ana to do the QnA.

- My question was “which one do you prefer? Having a lot of friends but you’re acting fake or less friends but you’re true to yourselves”.

- I answered very straight-forward with “I’d rather go with the second one. Because that means I’m true to myself, I’m true with my conviction. And by being true to myself, I can be a better human being.”

I felt pretty good about myself. But I laid it all down to God. Then, it came the moment which was the announcement of top 10. I was called first again and I was pretty much pleased because I knew that I did excellent. The question landed again on me and it was from Bang Arga.

-The question was like this “How do you feel about the heroic deeds that Kartini has contributed to Indonesia? Was it wasteful or worth-it?”

-A : I think that Kartini’s struggle has been very successful because right now at the moment we could witness a lot of great women leaders in everywhere not only in Indonesia but in the world. Take the example of Megawati, Margaret Thatcher and Sri Mulyani. They have contributed so much for Indonesia and the world.

I called it my defining moment because I never felt so confident answering the question like that. I prayed so hard and hopefully the result could be the best decision they made. I wanted to win but I think winning wasn’t always my goal. I embraced all of it, good and bad. So here came the result. I was called out as the first runner up along with Siska Indah to receive the trophy. Miss Indonesia “Very Fresh”, Marsha Pical handed me the trophy and gave me a little smooch that made the audiences went “BOO”. It was a total gimmick. My hands were shaken and got shivered all over my body. I couldn’t believe it. It paid off. Finally, these hard works and sweats I had been putting were satisfying.

Putera – Puteri Kartini               : Alwan Fadhal & Nabilla Arswendita

1^st Runner Up                           : Daniel Samuel & Siska Indah Pratiwi

2^nd Runner Up                          : Andrew Bantong & Dita Puspita

The Best Talent                        : Riantama S. & Devi Gheisyah

The Most Photogenic                : Ryan Goutama & Aisyah

The Most Favorite                    : Sutan Chaniago & Mellie Leonita

 With the lovely Tiara Devi, my patient partner during the whole competition.

 With Siska Indah crowned as the 1st runner up with the help of Marsha Pical. Miss Very Fresh from Miss Indonesia 2013

Botani Ambassador 2013

It started off when I took a semester break from my university. During my break, I decided to brave myself auditioning for BA’13. I looked it up online and tried to find out more about the audition through twitter. I asked my friend, Kristianus to come go with and audition together as well. I couldn’t remember the exact date but I participated on the first day of audition. I lined up and waited for couple of minutes to get auditioned. At the very first glance, I thought the audition was going to be all loud and showcasing talent and time-consuming. But it turned out to be all the other way around. I was asked by one of the management of the mall about some general questions and pretty much direct questions. Right after being questioned, he asked me to catwalk around the stage. The audition took only about five minutes. It left me feeling pretty doubtful.

A week later, there went the announcement for the top 60 semifinalist. The announcement was published in twitter and the semifinalist got called up by the officials as well. It was hella nerve-wrecking for me. I didn’t want to put up high expectations but I wasn’t going to lie that I was very anxious. I was at the gym at that time. I kept refreshing the timeline in twitter until my bb battery drained. I was exactly in angkot on the way back to my home and then my other phone rang. I hardly recognized the number but I was going to pick up anyway. BOOM. It’s from the official of BA’13. She (the operator) congratulated me for I was selected as one of the semifinalist of BA’13 that later would have semifinal round in Botani Square. I couldn’t contain my happiness. All I could ever think about was jumping from my seat knowing how much this overwhelmed me. I haven’t talked to anyone except my friend about me auditioning. It was pretty EXCITING.

The day of the semifinal round arrived. Each contestant was required to do the question-answer session and talent-show session. I hated when someone I knew watching me in the stage. I was much more confident if I had to do this on my own. I meant there would be no embarrassment if only strangers saw me. I chose presenting to be my talent. Easy peasy breezy pick. We did a little rehearsal before getting in to the real semifinal round. The semifinal began to start. I remembered I was on the 40ish turn to get up on the stage. It was so numbingly long to wait all people being questioned and my eyes went teary (due to the unoccupied glasses) I remembered I was being asked by Kang Edy Bingky (I didn’t know whether I correctly wrote off the correct name or not) about the importance of an attitude in this kind of competition. I answered very smoothly but it wasn’t hitting the point I could see anyone getting so bored on the whole thing. The exact same thing went for my talent show. I was on the line with several people in the stage and one of the judges which was namely famous supermodel Emmy Chaniago called out the line was the most boring out of all. She even spilled out that it made her doze off on the entire thing. Truth to be told, I was crushed on the stage. My high hopes just fell of to the lowest place on earth. I just wanted to runaway and lock myself up in the bathroom, I was exaggeratingly embarrassed with no apparent reason (D’OH) I kept on assuring myself that I thought I did what I needed to do. I needed to stop being so hard on myself. I went home with head held high.

On the next days, I as always anxiously waited for the announcement of the finalist. They said on twitter the selected finalist would get called out and would be participating in workshop and of course grand final. I was pessimistic and wishful at the same time. I kept on beating myself because I knew that I should have done better. Until I got a call telling me that I was on the top 30 FINALIST OF BOTANI AMBASSADOR 2013. It was mixed feelings and my mom was there when I got the call. I could not have been any happier than this. People might take these things very lightly but I knew that this was one of a lifetime opportunity. I should not take things for granted. In fact, I couldn’t.

I had to go through two days of workshop. I was so pumped up for the workshop because I knew that I would be having a definite blast being taught by the professionals. The line-up guests were pretty interesting. There were Mr. Edmund Daniel, Emmy Chaniago, lovely Mas Yudhistira, and Mas Agung from Bentuk Management. They were pro in their own fields. I just soaked it up all the knowledge and lectures that were nicely given by them. I got to know each and every one of the finalist. They were incredibly talented and amazing. Some of them had been doing this kind of thing a lot. Some might have had a really impressive experience in an entertainment industry. I was forever grateful to be surrounded by these people. I was also glad that the judges saw something in me that I never thought I had. Coming from a really painful childhood and not having people like you the way you wanted to be was sometimes the biggest obstacle for me to gain confidence. I was so scared all the time. This just proved to me that I am capable of anything as long as I put my heart and determination in to it.

The grand final had finally approached. I prepped all the routine, the material for the question and answer and all the costumes needed. I didn’t push myself too hard because at the end of the day, I thought winning was just a bonus. It was a very life-changing experience for me to be even chosen as the finalist of BA’13. Everything was picture-perfect and the announcement finally came. It would be a lie if there wasn’t a tiny wishful wanting to get called out as a winner. But I tried to let go and didn’t put high expectations. THEN, I got called out to receive the title of The Most Fashionable 2013. It was an attribute title and I was just so happy that I wouldn’t go home empty handed. I was beyond elated and it finally paid off after battling through beating myself and confidence crisis. I made it. It’s just a living proof that I could do things that I never imagined. I truly believe that the key of success is the combination of determination, dedication and discipline. Pray as well because God will definitely help you every step of the way.

Here’s the list of the winner:

Botani Ambassador 2013            : Ivan Henry and Suprata Annisa

1st Runner Up                          : Abdy Azwar and Nabilla Lendy

2^nd Runner Up                          : Bayu Adhitama and Maria Eveline

The Most Intelligent                 : Whida Roshitama

The Most Talented                   : Risal Alfiansyah

The Most Fashionable               : ME – Daniel Samuel

The Best Catwalk                     : Deddy P. and Dini Mega

The Best Photogenic                 : Rheza Rahman and Nhattira Aurellia

Most Favorite                           : Imam Alfarabhy and Karina Oktavia

Quote Unquote

“I know that life has taught me real hard to stay grounded and down-to-earth. I never perceive myself to be satisfied for achieving something and I honestly I have maintained to stay starved and always take everything as a precious experience. I never take anything for granted. I understand that I can not be the person of who I am without these people who are always there. I can’t be Daniel Samuel without those never-ending encouragements, supports and sage advices. I am always thirst when it comes to learning. I don’t want people to look at me as a very cocky, stuck-up person. I’ve always humbled all I am in order to be up.”

“It’s like we’ve been hearing the same old preach and it doesn’t feel anything anymore. It gets numb. It binds all the uncaged inspiration and admirable charisma.”

“I keep doing all these shits for other people until I wake up I feel nothing. I am empty.” – Tifany Maxwell

“Not altering my personality for the sake of fitting in”

          I tweeted this in my personal twitter account to portray how I really felt during the last pageant I participated. I begin to understand that I always struggle to put myself in the center of society. I don’t want to be those attention-seekers who always have to say in everything and just fake it to make it. I’ve always wanted to be true to who I am and that way I can feel comfortable at the most. Most people would find it difficult to “mingle” with me because of how self-conscious I am. That is the thing. It is indeed hard to break my self-sonsciousness and I guess, people respond it negatively. I am cool to be around with but I just don’t want to put myself all out there, you know I’m saying? It’s almost inexplicable to elaborate that kind of feeling.

          I am hardly clueless why I have become so stiff in making friends and it turns out to be quite a torture for me. It is almost like I am not comfortable enough with anything, I don’t how to act, to talk or even to laugh in front of them. I mean, it’s definitely a personal issue and I wouldn’t blame anyone to take the guilt. It is so confusing to know that I go through this kind of issue when in fact during the first pageant I joined , I earned “The Best Congeniality”. It just hits me real hard to have known this. I know that these couple of months, I don’t socialize much and i spend most of my times in home, scribbling, surfing the internet, tweeting and all that pretty self-involved activites. By encountering this, I gather the urge to get this problem solved. I need to get back and be a normal social person. Hashtag POUW!

Me being shallow-minded

I don’t like here. I don’t know whether I am taking the right path or not. It is just a plain blur. I feel like this is not something that I’ll be doing for a long term. My dream is a jumbled word. I need to get a grip and get it all together fast. I am not a visionary person afterall. Wouldn’t blame the situations either but I am heading nowhere. There will be no finish line that I could possibly aim. It almost feels like running with no end. I am passionate but never find the truest passion. Opinions and suggestions would make no use right now. People keep blabbing but never have they been competent in doing actions. They are worthless piece of junk. Yes, I am that person who dislikes hypocrisy and false promises. They have ruined my belief toward humanity.

Ever imagined people that are very close-related to you always say the nicest bullshit in front of you yet they still feel that they are so self-righteous and so confident in what they are talking about? I have been so silent for quite a long time now. I hate how society always agrees in almost everything they’re given. I mean, what is that? Are we ever gonna be satisfied with this very simple-minded people? They are narrow, old-minded, and childish. It is always infuriating just to even think about it. I don’t fucking care about being normal and perfection. All I need is doing what I’m very best at and making people that matter to me happy. Regardless of how ironic this could sound, I currently have no one to look up to. It’s hard to find people who could exemplify the best role model. People are bitter.