Unspoken admiration

I was standing there trying to cover up my relentless sadness

The feeling is inexplicable

It pains me to see you

Although we haven’t even said a word

I know I am being a colossal idiot

It’s always been about wishing and not getting

It’s always been about me wanting you to be mine

I guess the word pathetic couldn’t even describe my feeling towards you

I’m drowning in tears

Full of disappointments

It’s like I’ve been pulled against gravity

All I really want is to disappear and be as heartless as I could be

I wish I didn’t meet you so this invigorating feeling will not be taken away

I know it’s so stupid to fall in love with someone you haven’t  even talked to

It’s weird

I’m weird

:” “ “ “(

University Life

Hari ketiga ngampus. So yeah prolly, it may sound so boring that I told you this. Let’s not jump in to details but I’d like to share something. Kelas yang menurut pendapat gue “interesting” slash “intriguing”. I was kinda expecting that this class would be deadly dreadful or awfully boring. But it TURNED OUT the other way around. So, this lecturer, which I don’t think it’s not ethical to name name here, she’s a lady though, has taught me a very mind-boggling lesson. I admire her personality and the way she speaks up about even the slightest details. Knowing the fact that she’s graduated from Psychological major and stuff, I can see from where it’s coming. One thing that caught me off guard is that I feel that she’s the kind of educator that I’ve been longing. Her English is beyond flawless although she may slip Indonesian in enlightening lesson. I mean, personally, I feel challenged in a weird kind of way. There’s something about her teaching that is very attractive. I don’t mind spending two and half an hour sitting my ass off listening. It’s like “finally, I got this one that wouldn’t be boring for the whole semester.” The two previous lecturers were just ugh! Without intending to discredit their ability, maybe I’m just not as ecstatic as I want to be. Fingers tightly crossed for me to ace all the subjects. :O