Quote Unquote

“I know that life has taught me real hard to stay grounded and down-to-earth. I never perceive myself to be satisfied for achieving something and I honestly I have maintained to stay starved and always take everything as a precious experience. I never take anything for granted. I understand that I can not be the person of who I am without these people who are always there. I can’t be Daniel Samuel without those never-ending encouragements, supports and sage advices. I am always thirst when it comes to learning. I don’t want people to look at me as a very cocky, stuck-up person. I’ve always humbled all I am in order to be up.”

“It’s like we’ve been hearing the same old preach and it doesn’t feel anything anymore. It gets numb. It binds all the uncaged inspiration and admirable charisma.”

“I keep doing all these shits for other people until I wake up I feel nothing. I am empty.” – Tifany Maxwell

“Not altering my personality for the sake of fitting in”

          I tweeted this in my personal twitter account to portray how I really felt during the last pageant I participated. I begin to understand that I always struggle to put myself in the center of society. I don’t want to be those attention-seekers who always have to say in everything and just fake it to make it. I’ve always wanted to be true to who I am and that way I can feel comfortable at the most. Most people would find it difficult to “mingle” with me because of how self-conscious I am. That is the thing. It is indeed hard to break my self-sonsciousness and I guess, people respond it negatively. I am cool to be around with but I just don’t want to put myself all out there, you know I’m saying? It’s almost inexplicable to elaborate that kind of feeling.

          I am hardly clueless why I have become so stiff in making friends and it turns out to be quite a torture for me. It is almost like I am not comfortable enough with anything, I don’t how to act, to talk or even to laugh in front of them. I mean, it’s definitely a personal issue and I wouldn’t blame anyone to take the guilt. It is so confusing to know that I go through this kind of issue when in fact during the first pageant I joined , I earned “The Best Congeniality”. It just hits me real hard to have known this. I know that these couple of months, I don’t socialize much and i spend most of my times in home, scribbling, surfing the internet, tweeting and all that pretty self-involved activites. By encountering this, I gather the urge to get this problem solved. I need to get back and be a normal social person. Hashtag POUW!

Me being shallow-minded

I don’t like here. I don’t know whether I am taking the right path or not. It is just a plain blur. I feel like this is not something that I’ll be doing for a long term. My dream is a jumbled word. I need to get a grip and get it all together fast. I am not a visionary person afterall. Wouldn’t blame the situations either but I am heading nowhere. There will be no finish line that I could possibly aim. It almost feels like running with no end. I am passionate but never find the truest passion. Opinions and suggestions would make no use right now. People keep blabbing but never have they been competent in doing actions. They are worthless piece of junk. Yes, I am that person who dislikes hypocrisy and false promises. They have ruined my belief toward humanity.

Ever imagined people that are very close-related to you always say the nicest bullshit in front of you yet they still feel that they are so self-righteous and so confident in what they are talking about? I have been so silent for quite a long time now. I hate how society always agrees in almost everything they’re given. I mean, what is that? Are we ever gonna be satisfied with this very simple-minded people? They are narrow, old-minded, and childish. It is always infuriating just to even think about it. I don’t fucking care about being normal and perfection. All I need is doing what I’m very best at and making people that matter to me happy. Regardless of how ironic this could sound, I currently have no one to look up to. It’s hard to find people who could exemplify the best role model. People are bitter.  

Letih. .
Seperti diriku tenggelam dalam ketidaktahuan.Letih mengejar sesuatu yang memberikan ketidakpastian. Mereka tidak mengerti apa arti sebuah ambisi. Mereka tidak pernah tahu isi hati. Letih aku berbicara bila hanya dianggap angin lalu. Betapa aku mencoba dan berusaha. Tidak ada titik puncak dan tidak ada kata-kata yang menyemangati. Kadang aku benci melihat mereka tertawa. Ingin ku menghujat mereka yang mendapatkannya begitu mudah. Hidup penuh kemakmuran dan berkecukupan, tetapi masih mengharapkan yang lebih. Aku bukanlah manusia suci. Dosa pun adalah makananku sehari-hari. Berjuang menghindarinya pun adalah suatu kenikmatan yang susah dilepaskan. Aku tertegun di pagi hari. Berpikir apakah hidup ini memberi arti? Apakah nanti mereka akan menyeka namaku didalam ingatan. Apakah aku hanya seorang yang tak berfaedah. Aku ingin hidup dalam anganku. Terlihat indah dan bebas. Aku merindu hidup dalam kasih dan berkasmaran. Munafik bila aku berkata aku benci dicintai. 

SPEAK! COMPETITION

Wouldn't wanna show off or anything but i wanna share the experience from joining the Speak Competition held by Speak magazine from Jakarta Post at Rasuna Epicentrum, Jakarta on November 10th. I didn't win but the fact that I was surrounded by talented inspiring youngsters who are eagerly thirst to make a change in the society is extremely thrilling. i brought the topic "bullying' to the surface and nothing excites me more than to know that I could take a huge stand raising this issue and be appreciated like this.

here are some shots :

 Featured in one of the edition of Speak magazine by Jakarta Post

 The announcement of the Winner ;)

I was the fourth to present my topic.