confusing

I am not an expert when it comes to dealing with love. All i know about love is it should be unconditional. Loving not only for the good things, instead you have to accept the bad things you see in your partner. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.That's what i know when i read the Scripture. I find it hard for me to understand the truest meaning of love. i love her. Truly. I'd wake up early in the morning just to meet her, i lied to my parents so i get the chance to have a deserted dinner in the corner of the restaurant. i sacrificed so much to be with her. She's all i can think of. i don't really think she feels the same way. i am afraid. i fear of losing her. On the other side, i don't want to be the possesive boyfriend that always cages her and lets her having life in hell for not doing things that she wants to do. No. I am not that kind. i respect her, her job and her interest. i will always support her no matter what. But she never seems caring about my life. My struggles, issues that are going on, my interest, my fears, my favorite movie. I need someone that can really be my friend. The one who stays in my conviction. The one who's willing to be there till the end. The one who cherishes me when i am having a bad day. You know, the one who supports me in everything i work on, a best friend, a partner to live with. I give it all to her. How could she care less?

Sometimes, all i need is a warm hug and a voice whispering "You are safe with me. I love you." Someone who knows me deeply enough to accept my imperfections. I am nothing but the reckless guy. I need attention. I need someone who looks after me. Who loves me indeed. i just want you to be there when i need you. I love you so much. It sounds like a bull. But it comes from inside and i know it's very sincere. I love you.